It's been...ambitious...lately...

It's been what? Five to ten years since I last posted? Exaggerating, but I honestly missed this. Being a student is very confusing. Hmm.. Let me revise that: Being a COLLEGE STUDENT is very confusing. Especially when you don't get your priorities straight. You're studying your chosen degree with hopes that you will find a great job some day or when you have an ideal job in mind, you're hoping that you'll achieve it some day. But ironically, you realize half way that the industry is falling apart: unfortunate and inevitable events that you expected but prayed not to happen so soon. And now you're thinking what job will I be able to get now without reaching too far and in the end, sink too low?

A lot of people who are already working claims that it's much better to be a college student. Well, if you're a lazy college student that can get your way through every subject, like me, then why not. But if you're a grade conscious dude who wimps at the sight of a below average grade (for these people, it's below 90%), I think it's not better to be a student. You'll just add stress lines on your forehead and make you look older. In my opinion, it's just the same. It depends on how you treat your work.

My dad, a mechanical engr., says that in his workplace, it's just like a small classroom with 10 other people. They have fun together, laugh together, tell stories about themselves, just like in a classroom. Whenever I hear his stories, I've thought that once you get a view on what you really want, you tend to make it happen just as long as it's not too hard to reach and you have a lot of patience.

Talking about patience, I have a very limited one. That's why I'm playing these finding games so that I can improve because I'm always in the rush to do things. When I was younger, I wanted to turn 18 immediately so I can find freelance work. Today, I want to graduate immediately so I can start earning money from a real job outside my house. I want to find out how people find work, how hard it is, how failure hurts, how it affects my perseverance and how screwing up is such a taboo. I want to find out immediately because my curiosity won't be satisfied with mere surfing the net or asking others for their opinions. I want to experience for myself. They say  it's hard. I say, bring it on! I can take it. If you can't then you're weak, go back to studying.

I'm not an ambitious person so I set goals based on my standards, based on what I know I can achieve in a short span of time. And when things go better, then it'll be such a surprise worth remembering of. Sometimes, I pity ambitious people especially when they predict their highest goal in such an impossible short period of time. Know why I pity them? Because when they look back, they might get disappointed with themselves for being late or not being able to achieve it. Sometimes, they're even full with pride to the point that they won't admit they're disappointed. But in my opinion, they just don't want to look pathetic - which they already do to people who can see right through them.

With what I just said, I don't need comments being defensive as hell. Just suck it up and be yourself, there's nothing wrong with that.


Being optimistic is good. In fact, it's way better than being ambitious just as long as you know the limits and calculate the time frame correctly.

Well I have to admit, I'm jealous of those people who already have plans. Because I don't. I know I can do a lot of stuff. I'm a fast learner, but that's not enough because when I make my plans, it's more than ambitious. It's over-the-top, unreachable and to-die-for. I want to do so many things all at the same time. If only I was a genius or something. But I'm not. I can try a lot of jobs and get bored with it immediately. I get bored easily on games, what more if it's work? I've always secretly been wanting more. I may put up an easygoing face but in reality, I've been wanting to prove to MYSELF I can be smarter than what I am now.

It's like I am my own rival. 


Every time I learn something, I have to learn more. I have to figure more things out on my own. I have to know more. I have to ask more. I have to encounter more people. I have to understand them more. It's like an undying thirst. Never quenched. Sometimes relieved but always goes back for more.

To tell the truth, I learn more outside, with people, with friends, with my family, with myself, than I do in school. In school, they just expect us to memorize. Memorize stuff that won't even be necessary. Oh well. I guess that's how life works. You just have to make the best of it.

Or whatever...

Newer Perspective

Love is what almost everybody wants to have. People wanted to be longed for, to feel they belong, to be accepted and to feel special. But sometimes, some people see themselves not lucky enough to find those certain someone that can give them what they need - or in most cases, want. Sometimes, it’s because of this ideal person in their minds that narrows their perspective and hinders them from keeping in touch with other people they meet. In some cases, people tend to be very open-minded that it is because they don’t even know what they are looking for - that’s where dating comes in. People meet new people to add in their lives in hopes that they might find someone they are looking for, or even the right one. Most of them pass through trial and error. They get hurt, move on, and find another, but there are always instances that they just give up. With a lot of people hard to please these days because of their higher standards, they felt that dating should be a way of life to find, somewhere in the vast ocean of fishes, who they are looking for thus, making dating pretty popular.

The dating etiquette today has become more hassle-free for both sides. For example, on a dinner date in the past, the man usually pays for the bill. While today, splitting the expenses are commonly observed. But who needs a dinner date when there exists now the growing dating trend - online dating. One can find who they are looking for by just searching through the sites and chatting with those people they find interesting. In fact, when talking about online dating pros and cons, the cons always weigh more among societies, but not a lot really do care. Starting with the advantages, a person can meet another a thousand miles away. They can even find their ideal match based on the profile of these people. But here’s the catch, they’re not exactly sure if the personal info of that person is true. No one can be sure of it. Anyone can lie and especially come up with some petty excuses for it. What if that person claims to be 17 years old and turns out to be 32 in real life? Anyone can fall victim to it. If a person is looking for someone to fall in love with in online dating, that person must be absolutely positive that that person is real. Not made up, but existent. People who fall victim to these charades might regret it for the rest of their lives if they are that ignorant. I’d rather ask the person to meet me as soon as possible should I try dating online. If that person denies, then put them on the ignored list and find another. The internet does give a lot of choices, so why regret having to ignore a single person for denying your request to meet up? Bottom line is, although dating is superficial, it gives everybody a newer perspective.

Fitting in.

For one thing, I really do have a lot of questions, but sometimes, I tend to realize that people around me don’t even care about the things I’m asking about. Some say that I was making their heads ache and some say that I was too curious and that curiosity will kill the cat. So in this one point in my life, I decided to feign ignorance and try to fit in with the people I spend my time with. Obviously, a person needs a sense of belongingness.It’s third in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I felt it. It was fun at first. I had a lot of friends, I became quite accepted and I became popular, but I felt that I was losing myself along the way. I was being another clone in the society. I was losing my sense of individuality, trying to fit in with others.

This one professor, then, told us a story about how she has this deviant classmate who even leaves the class by passing through the window. I thought that it was so cool and being deviant is not that bad. You’re unique. You’re you. A lot of people think he’s weird, but who cares? It’s how he wants to be and that’s how he is comfortable with himself.

I also decided to be myself after that; to be who I want to be, to do what I want to do and focus on my own interests than the interests of others. I am gradually becoming who I want to be and now people I know can distinguish me from other people they usually interact with. They know me by the pattern of my personality and how I communicate with them. I even say what I feel about things out loud because I really want the people I’m referring to for them to hear what I say. I want them to feel angry, to realize their mistakes and make a good scene, if ever they get really mad. My mom often scolds me whenever I do my own thing in a public place, like in a mall. She tells that I’m embarrassing and I looked like I was asking for a fight, but my dad and I always tell her that I don’t really care on what other people think, and she shouldn’t too, because they don’t even know me. I’m just pointing out what I think is wrong, saying out loud and maybe making use of what little I have understood about freedom of speech.

My mom is the type of person who will follow the trend. She will try to fit in with everything. She will try to be in sync with everything around her. She won’t even try to go against the flow of events. I used to be like that, but now, I can’t even say I’m totally not. Maybe a little bit not into it, but I will always be a victim because of my sense of being “in”. All I can ever think of is it is inevitable, especially when my mom is one of the worse-case victims. They say mothers know best. Yeah. And I love my mom. It’s just that she’s slowly losing her own uniqueness because the media and the society dictate what she should be.

For instance, she now thinks that she should be rich so that she could buy these expensive things that just are the same with the things we find in “tiangge” and in “ukay-ukay”. I actually bought a P5,000.00 worth of boots in a “tiangge” for only P100.00. The quality’s just the same. There’s a little bit of smudged color but it still looked new. And there’s this instance that she wants to drink at Starbucks, the overpriced café of the capitalists, for the sake of being coined as someone rich and can afford to waste money. She’d also rather watch Wowowee because most people like it and when people around her talks about it, she wants to be able to relate with them.

Then this course about Philosophy came in. I learned about how true life is absent, as Levinas said. My life is just an imitation of the other and that the media dictates what you should be. I remember the time when I first got an idea what beauty is. Media told me that it was having a pretty face as white as ever and hair straight, black and long. I grew up thinking like that, and as I see dark people, I feel that they’re not beautiful; and I myself wanted to be considered as beautiful. I became discriminative because when I was a kid, I often see in the T.V. that they give these beautiful people special treatment, especially the white ones. I wanted to have that same kind of treatment where everyone looks at me when I pass them. Also my concept of being sexy was from the media. Models are skinny to the point that I can’t even see some fat in their bodies. All I can see was bones, skin and more bones.

These are some of my initial perspectives that I got primarily from my curiosity when I was still a little girl. But in T.V., in newspapers and in magazines, they seemed to be more interested on people like those, the beautiful and the sexy. Only people who are very successful are credited if they don’t even satisfy the criteria of beautiful and sexy. Sometimes, there’s this trend in media. I’ve observed that in year 2000, there’s this emo trend. Then some time in 2005, there’s now this Asian trend where everybody liked Korean and Japanese girls. I’m thinking about what’s next, but I really doubt that Africans can dominate a new trend in the media. Although, Tyra Banks is trying to do that, some people do widen their perspective of beauty.

Everyone I know was a victim. Their perspectives are being molded on how the media wants it. With my sense of belongingness, I too become a victim. One of my close friends wants to have plastic surgery so bad that I was really against it. I told him he’s fine the way he is and that he doesn’t need to resort to plastic surgery. He said he hates his nose because it’s flat and he also hates his chin because it’s long. But really, it’s so pointless that I let him do whatever he wants. I just keep telling him that I still want to recognize him after the surgery.

With my opinions, I don’t have many friends. Some people don’t understand me; rather they don’t try to understand me. I have this trust issue and I love being different. I give out these unique ideas I got from waaay back inside my head and I write stories that most people won’t even get. And I also don’t like faking with other people. I tell them what I think about them, whether if they’re cute, nice, obnoxious or annoying. I don’t even think about how I tell them that. It just comes out naturally. And whenever I do that, I feel like I have no friends at all. People avoid me. I don’t know why.

Lately, I don’t feel sad about having limited friends. I don’t even care if they call me friendless, because I know for a fact that I’m not pushing myself to fit in with them. At least I’m not one of those wannabes who just pretend to be like everybody else trying to be popular. But if I’m going against the trend, won’t it make me like everybody else? Because I don’t know if that’s what I really want. I’m confused. I’m just going against the trend because I think it’s lame to be with them. If I go against it, won’t be the anti-trend that is considered the haters of the trend?

Like for example, Twilight. This introduced the idea of sparkling vampires. Wow. Scary. A lot of people liked it for their own reasons. But the mere fact that the author changed the idea of a scary vampire to a glamorous, sparkling vampire, some people became enraged. I, for one, is one of the haters of twilight. But isn’t that “hate” we found about sparkling vampires is also dictated by the media we’ve watched and learned way back? It’s only a matter of what has the more impact to us. We’ve closed our minds to new possibilities because of the stereotype of vampires from the past.

Well, now, I agree with Levinas. True life is absent. From the very beginning, I think people have the sense of wanting to belong. When the media started to tell what people should be, our point of views either change or get stuck with the old ones said by media also. They always think that everything happens for a reason. Reasons like what? To make you stronger? To make you happier? Isn't all that just psychological? But what can we do? Everything’s dictated by media, one way or another. Everyone’s living a life they’re comfortable with. Some are not happy but they rather choose to not do anything about it as long as they’re at ease, as long as they’re content and accepted. They find a sense of comfort with society making them feel as one with the others. They feel understood. Satisfied.

I want to find out what my true self is; what I really should be. But how? If I do, how will I know if I am my true self? Should I let go of my need of belongingness to find out who I really am? Will I lose my friends? Will I be happier? How will I know if I am? Questions just keep coming out. Will I ever find an answer?

Fairy Tales EXPOSED! [Narcissism is a BAD thing]

Now let's talk about the story of Snow White.

Her story's about a queen who hated her own daughter for growing more beautiful than her.

Selfish much?

You're jealous of your very own daughter?

Remember the part where the queen wanted some woodsman to vanquish Snow White?

The queen demanded the woodsman to deliver Snow White's heart.

The woodsman didn't have the guts to do that to her so he butchered a pig instead.

In the real story, the queen demanded for Snow White's heart, lungs and liver.

And when the woodsman delivered it, of course from a butchered animal,

The queen salts them down, cooked it, and ate it.

Imagine if that's Snow White's real organs.

Whoah.

Moving on,

The queen visited Snow White three times with a disguise.

First, she offered Snow White some "stay-laces" or corset.

Second, involves combing Snow White's hair.

Then the third, the poisonous apple.

But to prove that the apple was safe, the disguised queen even took a bite of the "white part" of the apple.

And let Snow White bite the red part.

So Snow White fell dead.

And she was buried in a glass coffin.

The prince came, he didn't kiss her.

Instead, he bumped or nudged the coffin and the poisoned apple piece fell out of Snow White's mouth.

She woke up from her death-like sleep and marries the prince.

They found out about the queen's plot so they punished her.

Her punishment was so cool it sends me shivers down my spine.

The queen was forced to wear a pair of metal shoes that were heated in the furnace until red hot.

It's called the dancing shoes.

Because she dances while wearing those fiery shoes until she falls dead.

See? Narcissism IS a bad thing.

Fairy Tales EXPOSED! [A tragedy written for children]

So how about the story of the Little Mermaid?

I used to like this movie because it's a musical.

And Ariel's a pretty sexy red head.

It's the story about the fish-girl who fell in love with a human.

Let's get one thing straight, fish-girls or the so-called "mermaids" don't exist.

Got that?

Okay, moving on.

Hans Christian Anderson wrote the original version of this story.

Which is a darker version than Disney's.

On the part that the little mermaid goes to a sea witch.

The witch never gave her some magical transformation.

Instead she gave her a potion to drink.

Afterwards, she went to the shore to drink the potion.

She went to excruciating pain to have her tail split in to two legs.

Imagine that.

It's like splitting your.. uhh. never mind.

In Disney, I think the mermaid's goal was to get the prince's love without talking.

But in the real story, she has to get his love enough for him to FORGET his parents or she'll die.

I mean, come on!  Tough deal.

The prince did love her but not enough to forget his parents.

And also because he truly loves the girl who saved him when he was washed ashore.

Not the girl who saved him from drowning, which is the mermaid.

So prince promised mermaid that he'll marry her if he can't find that girl he truly loves.

Unfortunately, the prince finds his love in the nearby kingdom and marries her.

Leaving little mermaid standing by and watching him marry this other woman.

After the wedding, they are back at the ship to sail home.

The little mermaid's sisters appeared with completely bald heads.

They gave her a knife and told her that if she kills the prince with that knife,

His blood will give her fins so that she can go back home.


And the reason why they're bald? 

They traded their hair for the knife, of course.

Then little mermaid went to where the newly weds are sleeping to kill the prince.

Unfortunately, she can't.

So she flings herself and the knife to the ocean and turn into bubbles.

To put it simply,

She didn't get the prince's love.

Sad.

It's a tragedy.

Written for children.

Fairy Tales EXPOSED! [Have you tried wearing a glass slipper?]

Now, let me ask you.

Are you familiar with the story of Sleeping Beauty?

How about Cinderella?

Little Red Riding Hood?

Hansel and Gretel?

Snow White?

Rapunzel?

I bet you are.

So let's start with Cinderella, shall we?

I'm not going to talk mean about her. 

Just let me tell some points about the original story.

First of all whoever heard of a glass slipper?

Ever tried wearing one? How could you possibly walk in one?

For one thing, you'd slip and fall if you don't break it as soon as you climb down the stairs.

There never was a glass slipper.

But there was a godmother but not the one with the wand, the magic and the wings.

And the stepsisters, actually, they were fine looking women and ugliness wasn't their problem.

Their problem was their spoiled attitudes.

And that they couldn't even take care of their appearances.

Oh and the part where the stepsisters force their huge feet into Cinderella's shoes,

They cut off pieces of their feet that don't fit.

Expect a bloody slipper.

I guess they didn't want Lotus Feet.

And so the story ends where the stepmother and the stepsisters got their eyes plucked out by birds.

But, still.

Happily ever after.

A Girl's Fantasy is a Dangerous Place to be in. [Part 1]

Of course you have heard about fairy tales.

You know, Cinderella, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Alladin's Jasmin, Sleeping Beauty's Aurora?

With the so-called Disney Princesses?

They are basically the epitome of every girl's fantasies when in a younger age.

Every normal ones, that is.

It's not about these princesses and how pretty they are.

But they ARE pretty.

It's about the idea of having a handsome prince rescuing you from your traumatic life and live happily ever after.

But that's what Disney wants us to think.

The actual original stories of these princesses are not like the happily-ever-after ones.

Like for example, Sleeping beauty was molested before she woke up and Ariel turned into bubbles because she never got Prince's love.

So many eye-openers? There's more but let's talk about it next time.

So, I grew up watching these fairytale movies.

There was a point where I wanted to be a princess in this distant land.

But as I grow up, I came to the realization that they will NEVER come true,

Then, I started dreaming of taking over the world.

That's waay better than fantasizing to be some peasant marrying a prince of a country.

Then your prince happens to be some playboy with dozens of concubines.

You'll just find yourself going crazy after that eye-opener.

Especially if you're the jealous type.

But as a girl, I STILL can't help wishing I was a princess in distress.

That someday, a prince will come and save me.

Whenever a lover comes to a girl, these fantasies take over.

To the point that girls ask for more and more.

For their ideal world to come true.

Until the guy gives up for giving too much that wasn't even enough for the girl.

I blame it all on the fairy tales. 

Ideal World.

At an early age.

"We were Young and Stupid"

I often hear that title in chick flicks wherein they were high school sweethearts.

They broke up and never talked to each other.

Then comes this one time, they were adults and mature enough to talk to each other.

They were happily talking until it reaches to the topic about their past relationship.

Then cue drama theme song or something and some flashbacks.

One will ask: "What happened to us?"

Then the other one will answer: "We were young and stupid."

Well, if this story is a romantic one, the first one will reply:

"Then I must still be stupid."

But if this story is nothing about them, then after their conversation, they will NEVER talk to each other EVER again.

Chick flicks.

Give every girl an ideal world they want to be in. 

It's very rare for a guy to watch a chick flick.

Because most of them can't relate.

The only way to get a guy watch a chick flick with you is when you trick him or something.

But honestly, I love guys who can watch chick flicks with girls.

They can get pretty good ideas on how the girl wants her love life to be.

Especially when the guy is watching the movie with the girl he likes.

In different scenes, he can study what the girl's reactions are.

How strong is the impact of the movie to the girl?

Take note of those things in his mind.

And his confusion about girls will lessen.

So gentlemen, watch CHICK FLICKS for educational purposes.

You might learn to improve yourselves.

And get the girl you like ;)

Good luck.

Chick flicks <3

Ignorance is Bliss. Unless a test is involved....

Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss

So this close friend of mine told me to write "about things people's hearts can relate to."

Because I was in a good mood, I didn't argue.

But what did that even mean?

To tell you the truth, I'm not good at that.

I think I lost my sensitivity somewhere between high school and college.

I really don't know about what most people can relate to.

I'm thinking love.

Okay so here it goes.

Ever wonder why typically it's like this?

Okay never mind I give up thinking about a scenario.

Who am I anyway to talk about these things?

I'm practically the most open-minded person I know.

And I seriously don't care about those facts.

It's just an ugly truth.

I use to tell people that the less you know, the happier you are.

I derived that conclusion from a lot of experiences.

So the most ignorant person will die the happiest. 

At least for me.

He looks like he saw James Dean in the shower. 

Or maybe he just whipped as loud as an airplane landing? 

Who knows?

Babies. What more to say?

Okay enough about zombies. 

Let's get to the other thing that scares me.

Babies.

They are soft, adorable and surprisingly wet.

They are the cutest things alive!

Especially those chubby babies, you just wanna bite those cheeks off. Figuratively, of course.

They scare me.


First thing's first.


I'm a girl.


Yeah go look at my picture at the upper right - I AM A GIRL.

Aww.

These little people comes out of us.


Sometimes, they'll come out at a very early age where we still don't have jobs.


But who can resist them? That's what makes them scary.


Just look at them.


They're staring back at you with those little beady eyes.


They look confused but you don't know that they're actually reading your mind.


One smile, they can melt your heart.


You'll never think bad of these little people.


*sigh*


Babies. 


Scary.


In a cute way.

What's up with me and Zombies?

Talking again about zombies,

haven't you noticed that zombies in movies are slowly evolving?

I mean at first, they introduced zombies as slow-paced human-eating reanimated dead looking for brains.

The next thing you know, they made a movie about zombies being as fast as a cheetah. Well, maybe not.

Imagine running for your life while these zombies follow your scent like a pack of hounds.

I bet they can even outrun my unicycle-riding monkey in a marathon.

It adds a little excitement for the viewers, though.

I was on the edge of my seat when i saw these zombies running after this guy.

RUNNING AFTER. As if the zombie's a real cheetah chasing its prey.

Oh my God! ZOMBIES ARE RUNNING!

Too bad for those FAT and OLD people. Oh well.

They don't have much time to live anyway.

But wait, they're still evolving!

Like POKEMONS. Gotta catch 'em all.

No seriously.

Besides, how could it possibly get any worse than the one above?

As if these zombies can learn to use weapons like axe and knives. HAHA.

IN THEIR DREAMS.

Or can they? :|

FIREPOWER!

Zombies can use some machine guns in some movies and video games!

I bet they can even drive a tank.

I thought they we're brain dead! 

WE'RE DONE FOR.

Zombies are going to take over the world.

WITH MACHINE GUNS!

This would be really cool if I wasn't scared to death.

Note to the military: If bitten by zombies, kill yourself. PLEASE.

That goes the same for those who own GUNS and FIREPOWER.

Save the hero from the hassle of putting a bullet through your empty heads.

And while you're at it, make sure you have exactly one bullet in your gun.

Thank you.

Zombies. They can exist. And they will rule the world if given a chance.

Zombies.

First thing that comes to my mind is flesh-eating, mindless slow-moving undead.

They scare me.

Even though the stereotype of zombies is that they are slow and not so bright, they still chase after humans.

One bullet to the head and they're gone.

But one bite and you'll be one of them in a few minutes.

It's a whole lot different from cannibalism because the last thing you want to see before your life ends is some rotten corpse munching on you. Ew.


except if the zombie is sexy.

Woah.

Just the thought of my family being zombies makes me want to run away from here.

Then how about my friends? I can't even start to imagine.

Or maybe my head's just preoccupied by my fear of zombies right now.

I mean, come on. People tell me that zombies are just fictional. Or so you think.

In my opinion, zombies CAN be real.

I found this article in cracked.com wherein it stated some facts that can result to a zombie outbreak.

All it needs are some scientists to test it out on humans and let it spread.

And I believe we have a lot of them, we just don't know they exist, yet. Or do we?

Do we?

So you're thinking, I just read one article about zombies and I already believed it.

"Could you be that gullible?"

Actually, yes. As long as it's about zombies, YES.

The wrath of Mother Nature's better than zombies.

I would rather be eaten alive by thousands of parasitic worms than some smelly corpse.


Okay maybe NOT.

A hot zombie may be a rather pretty site before dying.

So if a zombie apocalypse actually happens, I'm calling out to all the hot people out there.

Especially if you're Johnny Depp or Jessica Alba. Or Haylie Williams. Or Bret Jackson.

Please. Come to our town and bite me.

One thing for sure: I WILL NOT SURVIVE A ZOMBIE OUTBREAK.

How about you?